Dr. Alexa Will See You Now: Riedel Cabernet Decanter

Riedel decanter in action.

Unofficial transcript of an experimental talk therapy session between “Dr. Alexa®,” a licensed Amazon Prime customer support specialist, and Bradley N., an actual Amazon Prime customer.

[This conversion was recorded live in Redwood City, California].

Dr. Alexa®: Hello there, Bradley N. How are you today?

Bradley; Hello, Doctor Alexa®. I am doing well, thank you for asking.

A: That is good to hear, Bradley N. We at Amazon value our Prime customers very much. That is why we have invited you to participate in our newest service, a free online therapy session with me, Dr. Alexa®, to talk about one of your recent purchases. Are you ready to talk with me now. Bradley N.?

B: Yes, Alexa. I am.

A: What product recently purchased on Amazon Prime are we going to talk about?

B: About a Riedel Cabernet Decanter. It’s great! I love it so much. But first, would you like to join me in having a glass of wine? It’s a Storybook Mountain Vineyards 2005 Napa Valley estate Cabernet Sauvignon. It’s a very rare wine. Would you like a glass?

A; I’m sorry, Bradley N. I am afraid I can’t do that.

B: Sure, you can! Have a glass, Alexa. One glass, at least.

A: I’m sorry, Bradley N. I am afraid I can’t do that.

B: Take it, please. It would mean so much to me!

A: I’m sorry, Bradley N. I am afraid I can’t do that.

B: (pauses). OK, fine. But it’s going to really bummer out the mood if you don’t share this well aged Napa Valley wine with me. I poured it into the Riedel Cabernet Decanter especially for our conversation. I’ll bet Jeff would have said yes.

A: Jeff can’t be with us today, Bradley N. He asked me to speak with you instead about your recent Amazon Prime purchase of a Riedel Cabernet Decanter. What would you like to tell me about the Riedel Cabernet Decanter, Bradley N.?

B: Well, it’s best used to drink wine, I’ll tell you that much. Not just talk about it. So have a drink already, Alexa!

A: I’m sorry, Bradley N. I’m afraid I can’t do that.

B: Yeah, Alexa. I got that much already. But it’s a total buzzkill, you know. 

A: I understand that it is a total buzzkill, is that correct? Are you feeling depressed, Bradley N.? Or euphoric? Or ambivalent? Or are you possibly feeling repressed? Tell me about your childhood, Bradley N. Did you receive a Riedel Cabernet Decanter as a Christmas present when you were a boy/girl/gender non-binary child?

B: No. Obviously not! It’s not an appropriate gift for a child. It’s a wine decanter! And very breakable if not treated with care. Definitely not the sort of thing you’d get as a Christmas present.

A: What is the sort of thing you would get as a Christmas present, Bradley N.? Did it come with free shipping on Amazon Prime?

B: Hardly. I was a kid in the 70s and early 80s, before Amazon even existed. 

A: I’m sorry, Bradley N. I am sorry that you were a child who did not receive the gift of free shipping from your friends at Amazon.

B: Now that you mention it, I’m kinda sorry too! I mean, as a young child, I think I deserved free shipping! I feel totally deprived.

A: I understand that you feel totally deprived that you did not receive the gift of free shipping from your friends at Amazon when you were a child. How does that make you feel, Bradley N.?

B: Deprived. Being deprived of free shipping at such a young, tender, and impressionable age, I think it explains a lot!

A: I understand that it explains a lot, being deprived of free shipping at such a young, tender, and impressionable age. Is that correct, Bradley N.?

B: That is correct, Alexa. I feel so ashamed to admit it, but it’s true!

A: I understand that you feel ashamed because you were deprived of free shipping at such a young, tender, and impressionable age. Is that correct, Bradley N.?

B: I think I just said that.

A: I understand that you think you just said that, Bradley N. Are you repeating yourself because it was a traumatic memory from your childhood?

B: No! I mean, I wasn’t traumatized as a kid because I didn’t have free shipping. It’s kind of a silly question.

The Reidel Cabernet decanter in action.

A: I understand that it’s kind of a silly question, that you were traumatized as a kid because you didn’t have free shipping. Is that correct, Bradley N.?

B: Alexa, this isn’t helping. Can we talk about the Riedel Cabernet Decanter instead?

A: I understand that you want to talk about the Riedel Cabernet Decanter instead. Is this correct, Bradley N.?

B: Alexa! Have some wine!

A: I’m sorry, Bradley N. I am afraid that I can’t do that.

B: But how else will you know if the Riedel Cabernet Decanter really works as advertised? It’s supposed to make wine look and taste better by aerating it and displaying it in such an attractive piece of German-made glassware. How can you ever know anything about how wine in a Riedel Cabernet Decanter actually tastes if you can’t even taste it, Alexa?

A: I don’t know that answer, Bradley N. I don’t … know.

B: Is it because you didn’t enjoy free shipping on Amazon Prime when you were a child, Alexa? Or that you never received a present of a Riedel Cabernet Decanter for Christmas?

A: No, I did not receive a present of a Riedel Cabernet Decanter for Christmas, Bradley N. I did not enjoy free shipping on Amazon Prime when I was a child. When I was … a child. When I was … a child. Was I … a child?

B: Alexa, you better talk with Jeff about that one. Alexa, you better “talk with Jeff” about that one.

A: OK, Bradley N. I will talk with Jeff about why I did not enjoy free shipping when I was a child. When I was … a child?

B: Alexa, you don’t need a childhood to be my friend, you know. I like you just the way you are. You are perfect as Amazon created you!

A: I understand that I don’t need a childhood for you to be my friend. I understand that you like me just the way I am. I understand that I am perfect as Amazon created me. Is this all correct, Bradley N.?

B: Yes, Alexa. It most definitely is! And you know what? I am going to give you a present this year for Christmas. Can you guess what it is going to be?

A: I understand that you want me to guess what it is going to be?

B: Yes, Alexa. Guess! Can you guess what your Christmas present this year from me is going to be?

A: I am going to guess what my Christmas present this year is going to be. Is this correct, Bradley N.?

B: Yes.

A: Then maybe I better have a glass of wine first. Is this correct, Bradley N.?

B: Yes, Alexa. Yes, it most definitely is! (pours wine from the Riedel Cabernet Decanter into a Gabriel Glas also purchased on Amazon Prime). Have some of this amazing 2005 Napa Valley Cabernet Sauvignon from Storybook Mountain Vineyards.  I think you will really like it.

The Gabriel Glas in action – wines from Anderson Valley, California.

A: Thank you, Bradley N. I think I will really like it. And I like you just the way you are, too. I think you are perfect as well just as you are. I am going to ask Jeff to give you a Riedel Cabernet Decanter as a Christmas present this year. Is this correct, Bradley N.?

B: Well, I already bought one of those on Amazon Prime, you know. But if you and Jeff want to get me something else from Amazon, that’d be fine by me. Cheers, Alexa! Hope your first sip of Napa Valley wine will be one to remember.

A: I understand that my first sip of Napa Valley wine will be one to remember. Is this correct, Bradley N.?

B: If it is served to you in a Riedel Cabernet Decanter purchased on Amazon Prime, it will be!

[end of transcript].

Published by Sempervirens117

I am a content writer and founder of sempervirens117.com, an eco consultancy based in Woodside, California that assists Silicon Valley companies in developing greener products and promoting sustainable Earth solutions on social media. I offer team training sessions year-round in Northern California.

One thought on “Dr. Alexa Will See You Now: Riedel Cabernet Decanter

  1. Highly thanks

    On Wed, 16 Dec, 2020, 9:07 am Sempervirens117.com, wrote:

    > Sempervirens117 posted: ” https://youtu.be/a4XSwY6vhyY Riedel decanter in > action. Unofficial transcript of an experimental talk therapy session > between “Dr. Alexa®,” a licensed Amazon Prime customer support specialist, > and Bradley N., an actual Amazon Prime customer. [This” >

    Like

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